The trials and tribulations of being a working mom are enough already without throwing in seemingly well-meaning but highly irritating comments from those who should really know better. But in case you don't, here are ten things that you should definitely, never ever say to a working mom.
1. I Don't Know How You Do It!
Nope, and neither does she!! There is nothing worse than telling a working mom how terrible you would feel being away from your kids, missing their firsts, or all those special moments, or the guilt you would feel having your child in daycare. NEWSFLASH! She is already acutely aware of all of these things and doesn't need it all thrown in her face by someone else. So please get back in your box.
2. Can't You Afford to Stay Home?
Here's the thing - a working mom's financial affairs have 100% nothing to do with anyone else, so asking about them is strictly off limits. Aside from that, it's not always just about the money, so keep the financial interrogations to yourselves.
3. Staying Home Is Best for the Children
Come again? What are you, some kind of special 1950s throwback? Let's discuss, shall we? What about the notion instead that a working mom is a good role model and shows us the importance of work, or that their children grow up to be more independent, or have less behavior problems? Perhaps not a statement you want to throw around lightly around a working mom, unless you are willing to incite her total wrath, that is.
4. It's Good That You're Looking Out for Yourself
You know, in case your husband is counting down the days until he can leave you, or wants to divorce you or something. Because of course that is EXACTLY why every working mom is working, as opposed to helping to contribute to her family's finances and be a successful person in her own right. Pfffft!
5. I Wish I Could Skip the Housework All Day Too
Because of course, while working moms are at work all day, the special house chore fairy comes along to get the house fixed on her behalf while she is busy grafting. WRONG! After coming back from a day at work, guess what? She then has to do the housework too.
6. You Look SO Tired
Guess what? Working moms have mirrors at home and at work and are fully aware of the fact that they look utterly exhausted. They don't need anybody running around with a loud speaker announcing it to the world, making them feel like a big fat steaming poop and rubbing it in their face.
7. You Must Treasure Every Moment With Your children
BAHAHAHA! While working moms would LOVE to treasure every moment with their kids, the laws of life sadly don't operate in that way. Just because they might have less time with the kids, doesn't mean that every moment with them will be a sunburst of heavenly happiness. Remember, kids love to tantrum, act out, and have dizzying mood swings and tantrums, whether you've been with them all day or not.
8. It's so Hard Being Home All Day
Oh yes poor you... it's so hard being a stay-at-home mom. Please pass us a Kleenex so we can wipe the tear from our eye. Just like it's so hard being a working mom. Or a part time mom, or an anything mom. The fact is that being a mom is hard whichever way you slice it, and it's not a competition between stay-at-home-moms or working moms. Beside, if you so desperately want to not be at home with the kids all day, you know what you can do….
9. Do You Trust Your Childcare?
Because obviously working moms just closed their eyes and did an eeny meeny miney mo when it came to picking the people who would be looking after their cherished offsprings when they had to go back to work. And no they didn't angst for endless hours before they finally made the decision. Please check your child-care fear-mongering at the door.
10. Why Do You Need a Break?
Wait - you need a break? But surely going to work all day is a break? If you think going to work is some twisted way of a working mom getting some me-time, just put a lid on it. It's just a different type of grindstone, that's all.
Let's check our judgement and preconceptions of working moms at the door, and give them a little more credit that they are making the best decisions they can, for their own family circumstances...just like we all do.